This blog post is all about parenting today vs the past.
Parenting Today vs Past by AGATA
Parenting changes and evolves. As time progresses, we progress with technologies, education, and research on what is recommended and seen as best practices. Our values and experiences also adapt with each generation. As we adapt, it is quite interesting to compare the present to the past. Why?
First, the way we do things as mothers now is different from how we were raised. I decided to do this blog post because as a new mama, living at home with my mama, I often find that we get into disagreements because my mum has a “tried and tested way of doing things” and I want to try a different way of doing things. While I must admit that sometimes she is right, I also want to be able to make my own mistakes and most importantly learn from them.
In this blog post, I will be exploring the key differences between parenting today vs the past.
1. Information Overload
So we live in a world where we can google anything and read people’s opinions and suggestions and speak to others online to get advice (i.e., Facebook groups or peanut app). There are so many books and resources for us to use now that we can try different things. However, that also can cause some anxiety and confusion.
In the past, you would do as you wanted or listen to advice from someone who has had experience with babies. Or you would just try anything to help.
I know that advice is constantly changing and we need to be able to take that on board, and sometimes this may mean that we may have to ignore the advice of others. For example, in the past, it was believed that cluster feeding meant that you did not have enough of a supply to feed your baby so you had to supplement with formula. While there is a little truth in that, so essentially babies cluster feed to signal to your body to produce more milk. So in a way, you do not have enough at the moment but if you supplement with formula then your supply will not increase because the boobs are not getting the signal to increase the supply. Therefore, you should allow your baby to feed as much as possible to help increase your supply.
[Related: 6 Valuable Tips to Increase Milk Supply]
[Related: 7 Must-Know Breastfeeding Realities]
2. Differences in Parenting Styles
Parenting styles in the past were characterized by authority and discipline. I often heard that children should be seen not heard and that as a child I have no say in things. Another thing I also heard is that we should not be friends with our children.
I have been brought up to respect my elders. Something that I definitely struggle with as I believe that respect should be mutual and if I am not respected back then it is super hard for me to put on a smiling face and respect someone else. But, here we are trying to always be polite no matter what.
Today’s parenting seems to be more concerned about nurturing independence and providing a supportive environment to children. Using open communication and respect is something that I will be striving for, I believe that this will cultivate a more collaborative and empathetic parenting approach.
I often have conversations with people older than me who have had children and they say to me “Just wait…” until something inconvenient happens and you have to put your foot down and make sure that you don’t lose or that the child does not win as you will be seen as weaker and they will walk all over you.
While I cannot say that this has happened yet, I believe that this way of thinking should be questioned. First, I am not in a competition with my baby/child, I am not fighting for who has authority here. Second, I am working as a team with my child and together we can work out what the problem is. I do think that each action or “tantrum” has a reason for happening. Therefore, I would like to think I can try to see my child’s point of view.
3. Family Dynamics
Family dynamics have changed significantly over time and therefore parenting practices have been adapted to suit this evolution. Single-parenting, same-sex parents, co-parenting, and blended families are more common now and tas such parenting has adapted to the different family structures.
Nowadays, we are becoming a little bit more accepting of different family dynamics. And, hopefully, this reflects on the way we bring our children up i.e., to be more accepting.
4. Work and Life
In the past, the most common arrangement was based on gender roles, wherein the mother would stay at home and take care of the children and the father would go to work and provide for the family.
Today, many women are working mothers and as a result, parenting responsibilities are more likely to be shared (hopefully anyway). Nowadays, we are concerned about the work-life balance. We strive to be able to work and also prioritize quality time with our children,
5. Playtime
In the past, playtime used to be outside, you would knock on your neighbour’s door and play outside. I remember going to a park with my friends without adult supervision. Although, I did live in a small village at the time so I was a little bit safer. And yes, the park was close to my house but it still required us to cross a road unsupervised.
Today, there are so many parents that still encourage outside play. However, I would not dream of letting my child out unsupervised. Times have changed and the world is not as safe as it once was.
Additionally, we are in the digital age, we use smartphones, tablets, and other devices much more and so do our kids. As parents, we now face the challenge to figure out how much screen time we want our kids to have. And to teach our kids about the benefits and challenges of social media.
This post has been about parenting today vs the past.
Overall, parenting today vs the past has adapted to reflect the changing world that we live in. All of the above-mentioned points contribute to the nature of parenting today. While comparing the challenges of today to the challenges of the past, it has been humbling to think about the different advice you get from your parents, grandparents, and other professionals involved in your life. As the different points of view are linked to the different times and eras. Ultimately, it is important to embrace the wealth of knowledge that we have we can google just about anything. While it is super confusing having everyone tell you something different. It can be quite useful to see that other parents are also having similar problems to you. Or to find a solution that can work for both you and your baby.